Idiots Guide to Everything
A little comic look at all kids of stuff, You may need an Irish English dictionary
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
The big bang, toughts on some of the bible and stuff
well i think the big bang theory of how the universe created just sounds like plain crazy talk. and it leaves more questions than answers, but it could have happened of course, It just if you read it that out of nothing came a big huge explosion and all the energy and molecules were formed there and then. I now there's things that point to it been right but what if we are just interperting them wrongly or putting to much importance on them.
Anyway seemingly Isaiah was saying the earth was round when everyone else tought it was flat back in the 8th century bc. Now if you went for a walk up the hills of a day and looked out at the magnificant view sure any gobshite with a brain would think the world was round (not that it is round its roundish but is seemingly all over the place really with big lumps hanging out all over the shop). Then your man Job in his book (which moses wrote seemingly) said that the earth was hanging in space on its own, and that seemingly wasnt proved until the boys went up to space and took a picture (yeah right them pictures were really from you walking on the moon). Well now imagine you and her indoors went up to the beach for a romantic walk hand in hand, with the cool wind blowing her magnificent blonde hair out in the moonlight and then you said "stop walking woman" and you looked at the moon (this is back in ancient times now so u could call her woman with out having the testicles chopped off you). And you notice the moon is hanging there and then the next day when the sun came up (obviously not an irish story) you notice that the sun is just hanging there. Well then you might just think ah here sure maybe this land me and the wife and our 19 children are living on is also hanging up there in space too. Of course then you rushed off with your sandwiches to go catch fish cos theres no way you be hanging around at home with a wife and 19 children to be listening to. (there the example people use sometimes to proof that the writings of the boys were inspired by God). Well that's what me and the jehova witnesses talked about today, Was great laugh, well they tore into me with the arguments but i stood firm in my convictions then i told them my little story about hughie and his first confession which i had made up for the kids. ah sure they went off laughing so all well.
Thursday, 21 February 2013
she cried just like a little girl
I was talking to a woman one day and she told me thing like people tell you things and as i was listening to her and thinking of how people see just the hard cold outside of them and act in certain ways towards them . I was listening to bob dylan on the way home and he was describing how a woman danced and acted and then he said that "she cried just like a little girl". Remember telling her and she understood what i meant. Maybe sometimes we all should see that under that hard exterior lies a woman who is still her daddy's little girl and who can have her heart torn apart and shredded by an outside world too cold to see the softness inside
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Castle walls around the soul (one of my poems)
While Lieing in a empty place but not alone
I wonder back in my head to a time
When up high I held your hand so tight
. The leaves had turned red and the wind chilled
The warmth I felt was in my heart as I shivered outside.
A haunting echo of our past life's together entwined our souls
And now still as I lie here I see and feel you so close
As a distance so far to travel by foot is a mere slight in the heart of souls in love
I wonder back in my head to a time
When up high I held your hand so tight
. The leaves had turned red and the wind chilled
The warmth I felt was in my heart as I shivered outside.
A haunting echo of our past life's together entwined our souls
And now still as I lie here I see and feel you so close
As a distance so far to travel by foot is a mere slight in the heart of souls in love
Saturday, 16 February 2013
My wee funny look at the Kindle fire hd tablet
A bit of a warning you may need an Irish to English dictionery to understand some of the stuff I come out with and secondly just so you know I haven't a clue about all the technical things like screen resolutions and stuff that the kindle offers and if you can understand half that stuff then fair play to you because you must be some cut of a genius. This is just my little adventure with kindles in my own half cracked style. Ok so I decided I get with the plan and look at these tablet things that everyone is talking about and using. I had a budget of Euro300 (which as everyone knows is worth a big bucketful of dollars) so lets see what i can get for my money. Linked these to amazon so you can see what I talking about and so you can go off and buy them straight away ad make me load of money:
(1)
Well I big into reading books and of course I bring the book I am currently reading everywhere I go. So I tought that kindle would be a good idea so that I can carry a whole heap of books around with me with out the need for a wheel barrow (they don'tallow wheel barrows in alot of places) .My other habit which is a bad one is playing on my iphone. Well playing and working, I am constantly checking emails or looking up facebook or googling stuff. So here's the wee story to expalin why i wanted one of these kindles; I was in hospital recently with a torn calf muscle. There I was in the bed in the accident and emergency department when the nurse said she never seen anything like the state of my leg (sure hadn'tvit gone a terrible shade of black and blue), then she whispered that I would be grand and ran off to get a doctor as fast as her cotton socks would allow her. As I lay in the bed in a state of total disaray and bewildement I used the phone to look up compartment syndrome which is what she tought I had. Well that was a bad idea as it involves all kind of bad stuff and as per usual all the crazies have all the real bad stories on the net. Well anyway it wasnt all as bad as compartment syndrome but I was thinking if i had me one of them there kindle thingies sure couldn't i have looked up the compartmment syndrome and also have read a book to calm myself down afterwards.
So I went on to the google and got linked into amazon for the latest kindles. Well aren't they just a lovely looking piece of kit to say the least. Its all black and cool looking and been a man its way more macho looking than them olde book things. The wife would also definitly like to be seen prancing around with one of them while sitting down having a big mug of coffee and a sticky bun in some fancy cafe down the boulevard of Kells (a small town in Ireland). It has a really great sound system and the graphics are spot on, so they are. You can do your facebooking on it as easy as eatinng a big plate of hairy bacon and curly cabbage and also read a load of books, with that cool sharp sophisticated look. Its got a camara for looking at yourself or for letting other people have a wee look at you when you on skype and such like. So when you talking to someone they can see you and you can see them if they have a cam on their computer or one of these kindles. Now a word of warning, be careful who you do this with or you may end up like Big Jim Ryan (my best friend) who was in need of a trip to a doctor after realising that Suzy his friend form south africa had not a screed of clothes on her and she sitting there smiling at you on the computer screen.Shocking so it was especially when his wife Mary walked in and saw who he was talking to well needless to say Jim was was unfortunate that Mary just happened to have a very large frying pan in her hand at the time.
Kindle has a massive amount of books you can download. You just connect up to the internet go on a marketplace and away you go like Patsy, you can choose what books you want.Course you will have to pay for them but they a heap of them for free as well.
So there you go its a great invention, you can be reading your book and then check your email and then take a look at someone you never met over in some far distant land on the skype and a load of other stuff.
I gave the reading a go and its the right job, not a bother been able to read as it has some kind of light system to stop glare so that you dont end up with a pair of cross eyes from looking at the screen for ages. Also handy for at night time when her indoors has turned the lights out and you are right in the middle of a Stephen King book. After all everyone knows you can't just stop reading one of Kings book at just any page or you be having nightmares of a terrifing nature.
Now there is of course cheaper versions which are just as good and probably more practical if you are like me and haven't a clue how to use half the more advanced functions on the one above.
Cheaper options
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